I absolutely believe that this quote from Elder Holland is the truth. That doesn't mean I think it's always a simple thing to live up to. It's easy to get weighed down with all the negatives surrounding us in this crazy world and to forget to look outside of ourselves and our own struggles long enough to show our love and appreciation for others. It seems that we are being attacked from every angle-especially in our homes-by everything from smut streaming in on our TVs, computers, and phones to having our time spread so thin by the millions of demands put on us that it's nearly impossible to give the amount of time we should to the things of lasting importance-like loving those around us.
Recently a dear friend shared the following thought with me-"in the home we have the greatest opportunity to be Christlike. We see our family members as they are-we know their greatest strengths, but we also know their greatest weaknesses. We know all the mistakes they make, but we love them anyway. Christ loves us no matter what!"
How true that is! Within the walls of my home we have dealt with multiple mental health issues which can often be the hardest illnesses to deal with and overcome-largely in part because of how much of the outside world views them. It's hard to cope with the erratic behaviors of those I love and try to help-and it's even harder to be patient with it when many of those behaviors happen over and over again. I tend to be happier when I can look for the positive moments-although fleeting at times-and try to see my family members as I imagine my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ see them. It also helps to try to do more laughing than yelling-not always an easy task, but one that makes a huge difference in the atmosphere of our home. On the flip side, my family also sees me at my best as well as my worst-they are the only ones who typically see me first thing in the morning with crazy hair and no make-up for example (definitely a scary thing!) and they are also the ones who are most likely to see me when I am exhausted after being up day and night with a sick child and work and seriously lacking in the department of patience, but they love me anyway. Many of us have family members (or friends) who we see the "bad side" of a lot more often than the good side. Our job is to continue to try to see them as Christ does and love them anyway. That doesn't mean we have to encourage the negative or love the mistakes they make-but maybe just that we need to try to be understanding of the struggles that may have led them to those mistakes and try harder to give them the benefit of the doubt and look for something, anything, even the smallest degree, of good in them-and maybe even point that good out to them. Maybe that's one of the reasons that the scriptures tell us to pray for our enemies-maybe it isn't so much to change them, but to soften the way we see them. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, some seen, some unseen, and it isn't our job to judge the way they handle it-we just need to show love and kindness- even if it isn't reciprocated. The best place to start changing the world with love is within the walls of our own homes (and I might add within the walls of our workplace, our school, our church, our neighborhood-wherever we are close to others). There are opportunities every day to see the weaknesses of those around us, which means there are also opportunities to choose to either focus on those shortcomings or look for their strengths and love them anyway. I have been trying harder to adopt this practice for myself, and it makes a difference in how I look at others as well as how I feel about myself. This is something that I hope to teach my children, as well, partially for selfish reasons-hopefully that way they will be less likely to remember my bad hair days and impatient moments and more likely to remember my good days and patient moments. Hopefully they'll remember that we had fun singing and dancing together not that I may sing off-key and have no clue how to dance. Hopefully they'll remember that I spent time playing with them at the pool and beach not how I looked in my swimsuit (buddy has told me two times in the past week that I'm getting fatter-tact is obviously not one of his strong points lol). Hopefully they'll remember that I tried to keep our family together through daily prayer and scripture study and weekly church attendance, and although I often failed and it's often a fight to get it done, I TRIED-hopefully that it was important enough to keep trying will stick with them more than the times it seemed like utter chaos and complete torture. And hopefully as they grow and go out into the world, they can spread Christlike love through righteousness and change the world!
